Fun with Yucky Chucky: Casino Edition

When we last left Cheap Suit Chucky, he was playing politics with the Marshall Charity Bowl. This week, however, he decides to gamble his career away on his latest hack up about WVU Football, namely, the Dana Holgorsen Casino Incident. Apparently, Chucky uncovered some “gems” for all of us… and, he even mentions Oliver Luck!

However, it is not me doing today’s Chuck Landon Smackdown. Here at HailWV.com, I like to change things around a bit. So, today, I have brought in frequent guest commenter Jeremy Stewart to let Landon have it!

Chuck Landon is a huge f*cking hack, snatch, and Marshall fan. The fact that this dickbag has a paying job in ”journalism” makes me want to go into a more respectable profession, like sucking dick for nickels. So to start, f*ck Chuck Landon with a burning model airplane.

Chuck Landon: Holgersen gambling on future at WVU

PUNNY!

Maybe now we know why the University of Pittsburgh passed on Dana Holgorsen.

Half truths! They’re like the truth, but still kinda full of shit!

West Virginia University’s new football offensive coordinator and head coach-in-waiting came to the state with a reputation of being a partier.

And Doc Holliday came to Marshall with the rep of bugging his eyes out a lot.

But, apparently WVU wasn’t too concerned about Holgorsen’s character because it hired him to replace Bill Stewart in 2012 and gave him a six-year, $14.275 million contract.

Guess what?

WVU officials care now.

Holgorsen has reportedly been involved in at least three and, perhaps, as many as six alcohol-related incidents in the last six months, according to multiple sources with knowledge of the situation.

That’s right, six.

Sounds like a solid week.

The first five were hushed up, but the sixth incident at Mardi Gras Casino in Cross Lanes on May 18 has blown the cover off Holgorsen’s embarrassing antics. Nitro police were called to the casino at about 3:20 a.m. on May 18 to remove an apparently intoxicated customer who didn’t want to leave. Holgorsen was asked to step outside, sit on a bench and await a taxi. No charges were filed.

Hold on lets go to the replay

"Holgorsen was asked to step outside, sit on a bench and await a taxi. No charges were filed."

Ok, just making sure i read that right. So what in the blue hell was the point of this column again?

That sent WVU into damage control.

”Damage Control” is also the name of Chucky’s Huntington-based horrorcore rap group.

WVU athletic director Oliver Luck was summoned back to Morgantown from a Big East Conference athletic directors meeting by school president James Clements, according to sources. WVU’s president reportedly told Luck that if he read one more article about the coach-in-waiting, it would cost Luck his job.

DRAMATIC FAKE STORY I MADE UP BECAUSE IT GETS ME AROUSED

A predictable mea culpa statement from Holgorsen followed, saying, “I will not put myself in that situation again.”

But, is he ready to turn over a new leaf?

Well if he gets kicked outta a Big East school, Marshall will take him.

The Intelligencer/Wheeling News-Register reported Saturday that Holgorsen allegedly was asked to leave both a bar inside Oglebay Park and, later, at Wheeling Island Hotel, Casino and Racetrack earlier this year.

Sources say there was also an incident at Pete Dye Golf Club in Bridgeport, W.Va., which involved Holgerson being told to leave and not come back. And, then, there are rumors of three incidents at the Morgantown hotel in which he lives, including being banned from the hotel bar.

Ok, so our new coach has a little bit of Kenny Powers in him.

Also, there are allegations he was asked to leave the Union Pub And Grill in Huntington on Oct. 28, 2008. That’s the night Marshall upset Houston, 37-23, at Edwards Stadium in a game nationally televised by ESPN. Holgorsen was the Cougars’ offensive coordinator.

Aww, he said nationally televised like its a big f*cking deal to play on a Tuesday. Our little sister school is SO ADORABLE.

“I can’t say for sure,” said Herb Stanley, long-time owner of The Union. “That was the game when the Houston receiver (Patrick Edwards) suffered that broken leg.

Yes, we all remember where we were that night. I remember I was somewhere in Morgantown, not giving a f*ck about a Marshall-Houston game.

“The ESPN guys were in here after the game watching the replay and they were talking about how bad that was. There were a couple of Marshall facilities guys in here, too, and it did get pretty heated.

ESPN guys?

/sends dick-pic to Chucky

“So, it’s entirely possible.”

Did Dana Holgorsen start a bar fight, raping women and children?

Chuck Landon: ”It’s possible”.

What isn’t possible is removing the egg from WVU’s face.

WVU will remove the egg when Marshall can get the white stuff Geno Smith left on their field last year off.

When gambling is one of the prime issues in collegiate athletics and Holgorsen is tossed from two casinos in a matter of months, how does WVU spin that?

Ok, but gambling on games is the main issue. Neither of these casinos have a sportsbook. But hey, don’t let facts get in the way of a hacky column.

And how can Holgorsen legitimately discipline players for breaking curfew or being intoxicated?

Say ”Don’t f*cking do it”.

Those are questions without answers.

The answers are in black.

Meanwhile, Luck is busy trying to get permission to sell beer inside Mountaineer Field.

And, now, I think I know why.

Maybe, it’s so Holgorsen won’t have to leave the stadium at halftime.

No, it’s so when Marshall comes up, someone will be drunk enough to nail your women.

Source: Huntington Herald Dispatch