Fun with Yucky Chucky: WVU selling Beer?


When we last left Cheap Suit Chucky, we were talkin’ baseball… from Morgantown to Charleston… baseball… and how Landon believed that baseball could save the great state of West Virginia!

Today, as part of Chucky’s “Marshall beat”, he chimes in on WVU wanting to sell beer at sporting events. Will he have one for himself? Read on!

It’s about time.
Yeah, it is about time… I mean, I just wanted to get the ball in the hole… I wanted to, but I just couldn’t do it.

After years of boorish behavior by WVU’s beer swillin’, profanity spoutin’, liquor chuggin’, trash can throwin’, couch burnin’, pocket change hurlin’, horde of hooligan fans, a school athletic official finally conceded Mountaineer fans have a behavior problem.
Wow, Chuck, you really don’t like WVU despite writing about them ALL THE TIME as a Marshall beat-writer.

You think?

But give WVU athletic director Oliver Luck credit. I’ve been a frequent critic, but this time Luck got it right.
Say what!? Landon’s actually giving Luck credit on something… stop the presses!

Whether it’s Houston or Hugheston, W.Va., he realizes WVU has a problem.
Oh dear… here he goes, playing with words again.

That’s why the Mountaineer athletic department made a daring move Friday, proposing that the WVU Board of Governors grant permission to sell beer at Mountaineer Field and stop the re-entry policy at halftime.
Ahh yes, it IS ABOUT TIME!!!

The first move will go over big.

The second? Not so much.
My opinion: Once you step foot outside of Mountaineer Field, you should not be allowed to come back. Period.

Imagine how much security WVU will need just to man the turnstiles at halftime. Imagine how many liquored up, redneck fans will demand their gawd-given right to watch the second half after leaving the stadium to sip some ‘shine at halftime.
Wow, Chuck, calling WVU fans rednecks? Huntington’s not exactly an emerald city either, pal.

It won’t be easy, but again Luck is making the correct move.
Today’s Sign of the Rapture: Chuck Landon is saying good things about Oliver Luck.

“Very few stadiums across the country, and none in the Big East, allow the practice of re-entry,” Luck said in a statement. “We believe that this will help eliminate the abuse of alcohol in the parking lots at halftime and improve fan behavior.”

Goodness knows, it needs improving. But nobody at WVU had the courage to admit it until now.
That’s because we had people like Ed Pastilong running the show. He didn’t care.

Maybe it’s the result of the GQ magazine poll that ranked WVU just below the Eagles’ and Phillies’ fan-bases in Philadelphia as the worst fans in America.
Admittedly, that made me shudder, but I highly doubt Luck made his decision based on a stupid magazine poll.

“Yeah, sure, they’ve been condemned by the local mayor for shouting obscenities on national television broadcasts,” wrote GQ. “And yes, given their history, it wasn’t really surprising last season when Pitt’s assistant basketball coach got pegged in the face with a metallic object (specifically, a quarter).
Here we go with Chucky’s favorite thing to talk about: Tom “Quarters” Herrion.

“But what really defines the West Virginia University faithful is their devotion to celebratory arson. The school led the nation in intentionally set street fires from 1997 to 2003, lighting up an unmatchable 1,120 blazes.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with fire… IT KEEPS US WARM! It also helps us get rid of (un)important documents we don’t want others to see.

“That includes 120 in a single night to celebrate a football win over Virginia Tech in 2003 and sixty infernos set to celebrate advancing to the second round of the NCAA basketball tournament in 2005. When school is in session these days, the local fire department reports thait extinguishes as many as twelve Dumpster fires in a week.

“It’s all in keeping with the school’s (real) unofficial fan motto: Win or lose, we still booze!”

That depiction is embarrassing, yet accurate.
No, Chuck, you’re embarrassing AND inaccurate. Especially when it comes to your writing.

But fan behavior aside, this also is a money-making issue. The estimate of potential revenue resulting from the in-stadium beer sales varies from $500,000 to $2.5 million annually.
I think WVU would rake in around $1 million with beer sales.

With that sort of revenue available, the expectation would be for Marshall athletic director Mike Hamrick to jump aboard the beer sales band wagon.
Last thing we need is the Fat Humps of Huntington imbibing beer during their matchup against one of their fellow Kentucky schools.

But, instead, Hamrick was unusually quiet when asked for comment. Perhaps, that’s because it’s a moot point at MU.

The only fan behavior problem Marshall has is not enough of them. That’s why I can’t imagine Hamrick changing MU’s popular re-entry rule.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA “not enough” fans. I wonder why, Chucky!? Oh yeah, IT’S BECAUSE THEY SUCK AND THEY ARE NOT A WVU RIVAL!!!

Marshall needs to worry about initial entry, not re-entry.

As for beer sales, if WVU gets permission, Marshall obviously has to follow suit. That doesn’t mean behavior problems have to tag along, however.
Where there’s alcohol, there’s trouble… location be damned. C’mon, Chuck, get your mulleted head outta your ass!

One unruly fan-base in the state is more than enough.
And, one FBS School in the state is enough! DEMOTE MARSHALL TO FCS!!!