Fun with Yucky Chucky: We’re talkin’ baseball!


When we last left Cheap Suit Chucky, he was probably griping about Oliver Luck or Marshall not making the NIT. In my absence, Chucky was still stinkin’ up the Herald-Dispatch with his poorly-disguised love for WVU… and this time, “talkin’ baseball… from Huntington to Morgantown.” I guess now, Chucky thinks WVU should play Marshall in baseball. After the jump is me taking down his latest whine-filled atrocity.

It’s not just football.
It’s not just mullets and pizzierias either, Chuck!

Oh, sure, West Virginia University balking at extending the annual football series against intra-state rival Marshall is the cause célèbre.
Takin’ up a new foreign language is a worth hobby.

But, perhaps, the Mountaineer athletic hierarchy is moving toward a philosophy of not playing Marshall in any sport.
“Hierarchy?” More like 99% of people associated with WVU in some way, shape or form.

Case in point, baseball.
Let’s see how must Landon can pretend to be a baseball expert.

Marshall coach Jeff Waggoner has been trying to get WVU to play an annual game in Charleston’s Appalachian Power Park since taking over the Herd’s baseball program five seasons ago.
Of course, when Marshall wants to play us, they wanna do it either on a neutral site (Power Park, Civic Center) or have it tilted in their favor in Huntington.

“That would be huge for the state,” Waggoner has said. “We need that in this state. There’s no doubt about it. It helps the state in baseball. That’s what we should look at No. 1.
Oh boy, another Marshall coach wanting to be a “hero” for the state of West Virginia. Give me a break, dude!

“It helps in recruiting. It generates some interest.”
Recruiting? You don’t hear too much about collegiate baseball in WV, and that’s sad.

Marshall athletic director Mike Hamrick also is an advocate of an annual Marshall-WVU baseball game in Charleston.
Someone needs to tell Hamrick to just crawl back into his little hole in the Marshall Athletic Department’s office.

Why, even the “Friends of Coal” have indicated an interest in sponsoring the game.
*sighs* Not again..

But WVU?
Here we go…

The Mountaineers are so adamant about avoiding Marshall, they would rather play a mid-week game against Morehead State in Charleston.
Tee hee… he said “Morehead.”

I kid you not.
Oh, darn, Chucky… for a second there, I thought you had a legit sense of humor.

WVU proved it Tuesday by losing to the Golden Eagles, 6-5, before 677 fans at Power Park.
I’m sure Greg Van Zant might have had something to do with it… bunting with his cleanup hitter or something like that. (Fire Greg Van Zant!)

Think more than a paltry 677 would have shown up to watch WVU take on Marshall?
Yeah, maybe 700-800 people.

Uh, yeah.
Holy schnikes, for once, me and Cheap Suit Chucky agree on something!

There would have been about 3,000 fans in the APP stands.
Now, let’s not go gettin’ all delusional and everything, Charles.

But WVU has drawn a philosophical line in the dirt as far as Marshall is concerned. Never mind that playing Morehead State was a complete contradiction of WVU coach Greg Van Zant’s rationale for not playing the Herd.
We apologize for Greg Van Zant. Clearly, this guy’s next on the Luck Chopping Block.

“We always love to play in Charleston if it makes sense to do it,” said Van Zant, the last time he was asked about playing Marshall in May 2008. “But we don’t want to put ourselves at a disadvantage.
The disadvantage of, well, playing Moo-U

“I’d like to get a high RPI team in here for a game. Like Kentucky or Virginia or North Carolina State.”
Say what!?

To be fair, Van Zant did exactly that last season. The Mountaineers did indeed play Kentucky in Charleston.

But as for Morehead State on Tuesday, well, the Golden Eagles came into the game with a 4-19 record and even after the victory their RPI was still a lowly No. 229.
Oooh… nice research, Chuck!

So much for Van Zant’s flawed rhetoric.
Van Zant’s always been a flawed baseball coach.

It reminds me of WVU athletic director Oliver Luck’s habit of talking out of both sides of his mouth.
Oh boy… this again?

So, would it really come as any great surprise if the Mountaineers took an anti-Marshall stance across the board?
That’s been the case for a while, Chuck. Get your mulleted head out of your ass!

Not to me.

As it is, West Virginia’s only two major colleges compete in five sports — football, men’s basketball, women’s basketball, volleyball and women’s tennis.
And, I guess you want “Friends of Coal” or Chesapeke Energy to SPONSOR ‘EM ALL!?

The Mountaineers want to stop playing Marshall in football after the contract expires in 2012. As for men’s and women’s basketball, although Chesapeake Energy agreed to a five-year extension of its sponsorship this year, Marshall and WVU play each other under one-year contracts.
Maybe Oliver Luck shouldn’t sign the 2011-2012 season contract.

Then, there’s volleyball and women’s tennis. Since Marshall has dominated the series in both sports, WVU easily could choose to walk.
Too bad WVU’s turning the corner in volleyball.

That’s walk as in traipse.
Oh boy…

Not walk as in base-on-balls.
…here are the puns.

Remember, WVU won’t play Marshall in baseball.