FireChuckLandon.com: Landon taking glee in Realignment

When we last left Cheap Suit Chucky, he was singing Kelvin Cato’s praises and shaming Oliver Luck because it rained in Morgantown for the Coal Bowl.

This week? His pants suddenly fit very tightly because he believes WVU will be left out in the cold of Conference Realignment. We tear his latest bastardpiece up… on with the fun!

Chuck Landon: Yes, West Virginia, the sky is falling

The world of college football as we know it is about to change.
And, Marshall is nowhere to be found!

Forever.
Diamonds are forever. Your career at the Charleston Daily-Mail was NOT, thankfully.

The next two weeks is primed to become the most cataclysmic in the history of the game.
Ohio- 44, Marshall- 7. Virginia Tech- 55, Marshall- 3.

This is what could very well happen.
So says the meth-addicted, cheap suit-wearin’ sports”writer.”

Conferences? The 120 FBS programs are going to be reconfigured with 64 schools uniting to form four, 16-team mega-conferences. Those leagues will be the Pac-12, ACC, Big Ten and SEC.
Not this year, Chuck. Not this year. Take your piss-water gin and get outta here.

The BCS? It will become as extinct as a brontosaurus. The four mega-conferences will do away with that lumbering beast and actually put a long-awaited playoff in place. A system that still features bowl games would be utilized.

The NCAA? If it survives — and it’s a big if — it will fill a much lesser role. The bureaucratic days of being a watchdog organization handing out punishment will end.
The NCAA will still be around, you idiot. Did you ever think of basketball, soccer, rowing, etc? Probably not, mainly because Marshall sucks at those sports as well.

This is what’s coming thanks to the SEC taking Texas A&M from the Big 12 and the ACC plucking Pitt and Syracuse from the Big East.
Nope… back further, Chuck. Longhorn Network… does that ring a bell?

It is setting off an unholy war that will make people lose their religion.
Opposite of the Utah vs. BYU Holy War, folks!!! NOBODY DENIES THIS!

That’s particularly true in West Virginia. Not so much here in Huntington because these projected changes will have little effect on Marshall, other than the chasm between the haves and have-nots growing to Grand Canyon proportions.
Huntington, KY?

But that won’t be the case for WVU.
Folks, for your up-to-date WVU news including, but not limited to, leaks from coaches wives, read Chuck Landon’s column in the Huntington Herald-Dispatch, which has doubled for toilet paper since 1909!

If the scenario plays out as projected, the Mountaineers could be one of the biggest losers in this revolution. That’s because the Big East is now a dead conference walking. The ACC killed it with a murderous, pre-emptive strike.
Just like the Big East could do to the “elite” Conference USA, moron!

And to add insult to deadly injury, it appears the ACC is going to take UConn and Rutgers as well. That leaves just four football-playing schools – WVU, Cincinnati, Louisville and South Florida – with a fifth, TCU, waiting to join a league that won’t exist much longer.
Actually, TCU has recourse to back out of the Big East if they need to. Unfortunately for Cincy, LVille, and USF, they could very well be outta luck, just like you are with women, Landon.

That’s not enough to salvage the Big East. Which explains those panicky official statements from WVU athletic director Oliver Luck, football coach Dana Holgorsen and basketball coach Bob Huggins assuring their “Chicken Little” fan-base that the sky isn’t falling.
“Chicken little?” Who in the hell are you calling “chicken little” you worthless piece of chicken-sh*t!? At least WVU has a viable fanbase. Marshall’s fanbase is made up of nothing but Southern Ohio and Eastern Kentucky white trash! F***ing idiot!

Guess what?

Yes, it is.
Well, Chuck, you wanna build my bomb shelter? That way, I can lock you in it then hope you rot in there.

That segues to rumors of the SEC inviting WVU to join. Don’t hold your breath. That dog simply doesn’t hunt.
HARF HARF HARF… CHUCK MAKE JOKE. Ugh.

I mean, why would the SEC be interested in a school the ACC passed on already?
Never happened… the ACC nor the SEC didn’t pass on WVU. WVU has absolutely ZERO chance to join the ACC because of Virginia Tech… the same VTech that’s going to beat the ever-living hell out of her Herdie-Terdies this weekend.

But here’s the real bottom line. Expansion is done by university presidents. That means academics are a prime issue. That’s particularly true in the SEC, which is battling image problems that it allows athletics to be the tail that wags the academic dog.
Wait, what?

That’s why WVU doesn’t fit. Academically, U.S. News & World Report ranks WVU as only No. 164 in the nation. The lowest ranked SEC school is Mississippi State at No. 157.
I can’t believe most people pay credence to those USNWR rankings… don’t most people realize they are a scam anyway? But… that’s only four spots behind SEC considerate Texas Tech and only seven spots behind current SEC member Mississippi State. The WVU administration is being proactive in its approach to enhance the academic reputation of the university which is a big plus. (h/t LASportsDude)

What’s worse, only one BCS school is ranked lower than WVU. That’s South Florida at No. 181.
Wait, is this Mike Bianchi writing this article?

So, if Texas, Oklahoma, Texas Tech and Oklahoma State join the Pac-12, Notre Dame goes to the Big Ten and either Virginia Tech, Missouri or Kansas joins the SEC, the dregs of the Big East and the remnants of the Big 12 will have no choice but to form a league of rejects.
None of this happened, and none of this will happen.

The Big 12 would absorb the Big East leftovers.
Not anymore. The interest isn’t there, and Big 12 Commissioner Dan Beebe is HISTORY… just like those so-called “Championships” that Marshall claims to play for.

That conference would be in no-man’s-land, hanging in limbo above such mid-major leagues as Conference USA, but well below the elite mega-conferences.
I believe if the B12 and the BE combined, that would be 2 automatic BCS bids combined.

This all could happen in a 14-day span resembling a Bob Dylan song.
Only in your wet dreams, Landon.

The times they are a changin’.
Unfortunately, your teeth color and wardrobe stays the same.