Flush the Coal Bowl!


In the West Virginia House of Delegates, there was a resolution that was recently passed to urge continuation of the “Friends of Coal Bowl” series between WVU and Marshall. That is HR 25.

Let me give that bill my resounding endorsement: HELL NO!

There is absolutely nothing for WVU to gain by playing a middle-of-the-pack Conference USA team. Joe Manchin didn’t think so, and made the 2 schools come together.

Joe Manchin is now a US Senator doing what he does best in Washington, DC. Now, we got Earl Ray Tomblin or whatever the hell his name is (is it bad that I don’t even fully remember the name of my own state’s governor?) is now running the show.

I urge you to contact your Delegate(s) and urge them to vote AGAINST HR 25. Keep in mind that Resolutions are non-binding, but, if this passes the WV Legislature, this could put a lot of political pressure on WVU (namely President Jim Clements and Athletic Director Oliver Luck) to renew the series.

After the jump, I’m going to rip this bill apart, FJM-style.


(By Delegates Morgan, Stephens, Craig, C. Miller, Sobonya,

Perdue and Reynolds)

Yeah, all of these Delegates are from the Cabell-Wayne County area (aka HUNTINGTON!)

Recognizing the importance of the annual Marshall – WVU football game and urging continuation of the series.
Important to WHO!?

Whereas, Marshall University and West Virginia University are our state’s only Division I athletic programs; and
Yes, that is true.

Whereas, Both programs are an incredible source of state pride to all residents of our state, past and present; and
Blah blah blah… WVU is an incredible source of State Pride… Marshall embarrasses the state!

Whereas, Both programs provide a means for our former residents, who are now alumni that live out of our state, to come back and stay in touch with our state; and
Guhhhh….. what!?

Whereas, The 2010 football match-up between the Mountaineers and Thundering Herd brought national attention to our state and was watched by almost four million viewers on prime-time national television; and
That’s because the game was on a FRIDAY NIGHT… which is normally reserved for High School football!

Whereas, The 2007 football match-up between the Mountaineers and Thundering Herd was seen by almost two million viewers on national television, even with a Saturday morning kick-off time; and
Umm… I was at that game. It was a curb-stomping.

Whereas, The atmosphere of this game and telecast has made an indelible impression on many other professionals in the world of college athletics and also served as a nation-wide, positive commercial for our state, one that is sorely needed; and
Positive commercial, my ass. The hate manufactured by Mooshall fans is awful.

Whereas, Hotel rooms in the Greater Morgantown and Greater Huntington areas have been filled the nights before and after the WVU – MU football games in 1997, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009 and 2010; and
Hotels in Morgantown are filled EVERY WEEKEND in football; hotels in Huntington were filled only TWICE, when WVU invaded The Joan. Other than that, nobody really cares about Marshall football.

Whereas, The annual football match-up has presented a tremendous opportunity for Morgantown, Huntington and the entire State of West Virginia to showcase its unique tourism products ranging from state parks to bed and breakfast inns, to retail stores; and
This game is not meant for “tourists.” It’s meant for fans. Idiots.

Whereas, Visitors to the state and fans at the game spend several million dollars in the state on goods and services associated with going to the game; and
Well, with the way gas prices are, it could turn into “several billion.”

Whereas, West Virginia’s small business owners, ranging from tee-shirt printers to convenience store proprietors, have greatly benefitted from the sales of their products to enthusiastic fans from across the state who travel to the football game to show their school spirit and support their team; and
Ahh… yes, the t-shirt guys! Buy one here.

Whereas, Special events such as concerts and alumni receptions surrounding the “Friends of Coal Bowl” have generated additional enthusiasm and economic impact from the purchase of food, supplies and entertainment; and
There have been concerts up here before the Coal Bowl?

Whereas, The telecast of the game serves as a four hour commercial for our state’s leading industry, the coal industry, through the “Friends of Coal Bowl”; and
OK, that’s about the cheesiest thing I’ve ever read.

Whereas, The annual football match-up serves as a fall complement to the annual “Capitol Classic” basketball game between the WVU and Marshall men’s and women’s basketball teams; and

Whereas, The annual football match-up provides thousands of college scholarship dollars to high school students in our state who might not otherwise have a chance to attend college; and
Explain how.

Whereas, The annual football match-up is one of the finest opportunities our state has to showcase higher education in the State of West Virginia; and
Yeah, right! Marshall is nowhere near the level WVU will be in academics AND athletics.

Whereas, This is the biggest intercollegiate sporting event in the history of our state that involves both state Division I programs, and it makes no sense for a small state, such as ours, to not stage the one annual event that brings national attention to our two largest academic institutions; and
Yeah it does. There’s absolutely ZERO gain for the State’s biggest Division I institution to play the 2nd biggest D1 school. Both schools are LEVELS apart.

Whereas, With all of the benefits that are provided to our state, to our young people, to our academic institutions and to our residents and business people, it is only fitting that the football series between West Virginia and Marshall be continued on an annual basis; therefore, be it

Resolved by the House of Delegates:
Stay the hell out of this, Legislature!

That the House of Delegates hereby recognizes the importance of the annual Marshall – WVU football game and urges the continuation of the series; and, be it
The Delegates from the Cabell-Wayne region are the ones sponsoring this bill! No Mon County Delegates are sponsoring this bill!

Further Resolved, That the Clerk of the House of Delegates forward a certified copy of this resolution to the Governor and the Presidents of Marshall University and West Virginia University.
Well, whoopty-doo!