Fun with Yucky Chucky- Postgame Edition

When we last left Yucky Chucky, he was talking about Marshall football player Lee Smith, and what Smith knows and doesn’t know. Chucky left us hanging on what Smith doesn’t know… and that’s a crying shame.

Today, we FJM-style his post-game column… then, we’re through with the Fat Humps from Huntington until the Capital Classic. Without further adieu…

Chuck Landon: Holliday defiant in defeat

Doc Holliday stared into my eyes.
Oh boy, this was written right after the game, wasn’t it? I think DAWK (our new nickname for the traitor) still had his Herd-On…

He didn’t know what to say.
Usually, that happens when two people stare into each other’s eyes! CHUCKY WAS READY FOR A NIGHT-CAP!!!

Neither did I.
I rest my case!

But the first-year Marshall head coach’s eyes spoke volumes even before his post-game press conference began.
Tuuuuuurnnnnnnnnnn up, the raaaaaaaaadiooooooooo!!!!!!!!

Frustration. Anger. Defiance.
Hilarity, stupidity, helplessness

One-by-one, all those emotions flashed in his eyes.
But, Chuck, the emotions flashing in your eyes gave YOU a Herd-On, right!?

Holliday didn’t want to accept Marshall’s 24-21 overtime loss to arch-rival West Virginia University in the annual Friends of Coal Bowl at Edwards Stadium Friday night.
Well, accept it you Benedict Arnold! YOU BLEW IT, YOU LOSE! As much as I rag on Bill Stewart, at least he started out his coaching career at WVU with a WIN… AND ANOTHER WIN! DAWK’S 0-2… here’s hoping for 0-12.

Every fiber of his competitive being wanted to refuse to accept the defeat.
That’s called “giving up.”

But he couldn’t.
BUT HE SHOULD!!!

So, instead, Holliday simmered as he paced behind the elevated table looking vacantly around the room while waiting for the press conference to begin.
He was walking around to keep from pooping his pants.

Finally, he sat.
That’s when he was able to rip one…

Finally, he spoke.
And he didn’t say, “Excuse me!”

And it was vintage Doc.
But, with grayer hair, right?

“No. 1, there are no moral victories at Marshall,” said Holliday firmly.  “The game was lost. That’s unacceptable. They found a way to win at the end.”
No. 1, there are NO victories at Marshall. The game was blown because you all couldn’t close the deal, but it’s acceptable for the state of West Virginia.

And Marshall found a way to lose. … again.
Which was very nice.

That has become a disturbing trend in this series, but there hasn’t been any loss like the defeat on Friday night. This one was particularly painful, particularly frustrating, particularly sickening.
The tears of Marshall fans everywhere, despite having grease and fat laced in them, were rather tasty.

For 55 minutes, Marshall completely out-played WVU. Pick a category, any category. Offense, defense, special teams, coaching. … the Herd out-played the Mountaineers in every aspect.
What a nightmarish 55 minutes that was!

Yet, WVU left Huntington with its 10th consecutive victory in the series.
10-0! 10-0! 10-0!

“The game was never over,” said Holliday. “I knew that. I knew that is it a 60-minute game. Unfortunately, we did not play all 60 minutes.
Well, then condition your little Terdies to play 60 minutes instead of 55, DAWK!!!

“The fans were great. I feel bad for these fans because they wanted a win and we didn’t get it for them. … and it kills me.”
Nobody should feel bad for those worthless Fat Humps… all they do is run their mouth and disrespect the entire state of West Virginia with their Kentucky way of doing things.

The fans showed up big-time, as 41,382 rolled through the turnstiles to set an Edwards Stadium record.
But, not all the fans were wearing green!

The fans deserved a win.
Let me fix that: “The WVU fans who traveled everywhere from the Mountain State to Huntington deserved a win.”

Add that to the list of things eating at Holliday’s gut late Friday night. Antacid tablet? Forget it. There isn’t one big enough.
Yeah there is, YOU JUST GOTTA GO TO WAL-MART AND LOOK!!!!

“We have to find a way to win. … losing is intolerable,” said Holliday after watching the Herd’s record fall to 0-2. “What happens is you lose a game like this and, then, you lose a couple more down the road because of it.
Get used to losing, DAWK, because you’re going to do a lot of it; and before you know it, you’ll be back to being an assistant coach somewhere in mid-America.

“We can’t let that happen.”
Nothing you can do about losing, DAWK!!!

That’s the fear of blowing a 21-6 fourth-quarter lead and the hangover it can create. Marshall’s game at Bowling Green next Saturday already was a trap game. But, now, instead of being the size of a mouse trap, it’s a bear trap.
We can only hope that the trap cuts extra deep in all the Fat Humps.

All because Marshall couldn’t finish against the Mountaineers.
Just like when you can’t win at 3 Strikes at Price is Right because you pull out 2 consecutive strikes, a correct number, THEN STRIKE 3!!!

“We have to finish,” said Holliday. “They found a way to make plays at the end and we didn’t. We didn’t execute the plan to win in the second half.”
So, you admitted that you only wanted to win the first half to get the Fat Humps hopes up… amazing, DAWK!

One particularly damaging lack of execution came when true freshman running back Tron Martinez fumbled at WVU’s 4-yard line. A touchdown would have given Marshall a 28-6 lead and put the game on ice.
Then, the WVU fans would have put DAWK on ice the next day.

When Holliday was questioned about using Marshall’s third-string running back at such a crucial time, he bristled.
THIS ISN’T NFL PRESEASON, DAWK!!! LEAVE YOUR FIRST STRING IN AT ALL TIMES!!!

“Tron had a helluva camp,” said Holliday. “Not one guy lost that football game. From Tyler Warner to the kid who put the ball on the ground. We are going to win games together and lose games together.
‘Tron? Wait, Megatron gave up a career with the Detroit Lions to play for the Terdies!? WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH MY FANTASY TEAM NOW!?

“You know what? That kid is going to play against Bowling Green. If I get in the red zone, we’re going to put him in there again because he’s a helluva kid.”
Oh boy, DAWK is trying to find some good from being embarrassed from his Alma Mater… DON’T CRY, DAWK!!!

The defiance rang in Holliday’s voice and his eyes flashed with frustration.
I IMPLORE YOU, WE MUST PLAY THIS GAME AGAIN!!

It was that kind of night.
Chucky, we don’t care about what kind of night you had. Moron.