Monday Morning QB- Coastal Carolina Edition

Welcome to a new column here at HailWV.com, as written by me, Jim! This is the “lighter side” of Mountaineer Sports… as I experience things on game day. Could be some humor, some boozing, mockery, joking around, heckling, potential violence, scaring old people, etc… this is similar to Peter King’s Monday Morning Quarterback column, but with less complaining and less douchery. Onward after the jump!

I woke up Saturday morning freezing. This is the first time I woke up freezing since moving in to this townhouse. Oh well, time to get the place tidied up a little and get ready for gameday.

The roommate and his girlfriend (who may as well move in) are griping about the lack of visitor parking from last night. I’m sure there are dipshits who park here that don’t know anyone… they just take up visitor parking for gameday. Go park at the douchebag’s complex across the street! He’d definitely take your money. The roommate and his girlfriend finally leave; poor roommate had to work.

After getting everything ready, getting cleaned up, I decided it was time to fix lunch; so I wouldn’t have to drink on an empty stomach. Mac & Cheese and Cheez-Its for lunch it was!

After lunch, it was time to take my 12 pack of Yuengling over to my tailgate, which took place at my old apartment complex near the field. Ahhh, so many memories at Stadium Apartments… I often don’t miss that place because the apartments were really small, and while Stadium Apartments had their share of problems, I can’t complain about the landlord; and I can’t complain about the closeness several of us neighbors shared. As soon as I went to an old neighbor’s apartment, I was greeted with a Sam Adams Octoberfest beer. Yum. We cooked some Cajun sausages up, and yes, some dick jokes were made. Met a guy at the tailgate who could possibly Frank Caliendo’s impression of Charles Barkley. Had me laughing the entire time (well, that impression along with the sophomoric humor.)

We all decided it was time to head over to Mountaineer Field, and I took 3 beers for the road. For those who want to know, I drink Yuengling. (Peter King talks about coffee, I TALK ABOUT BEER! BEER IS MANLY!) I don’t worry about open container laws, simply because they are NOT enforced on gameday. I have to wait by the East gate for one of HailWV.com’s fans… I have his ticket. So, I’m just sippin my beers, waiting… and then the beer farts begin. Ugh… really? Can’t they wait til afterwards? Meet my buddy and we head into the game.

One thing I miss about the student section: Not sitting with old people. Why the hell do you all not stand up and cheer? Why do you have to get on to us young guys for using coarse language. Of course, I had most of my section laughing with some of my heckles and taunts. Besides, the one old woman had a visor with the name of some Country Club on there, so I knew she probably looked down on me and thought of me as a peasant. Oh well.

At halftime, I went down to section 101 and talked to some of my friends, who happened to see me in section 201. During halftime, Coastal Carolina’s Cheerleaders were up in our section, I guess talking to the Coastal Carolina contingent in attendance. I should have put on the Charlie Sheen charm… highly regret not doing that. Oh well, maybe there will be a next time. On my way back up, some guy (wearing a Phillies hat) said, “Yeah, WVU!” and gave me high five. Then he said, “Naaa… Coastal Carolina.” I had a moment of clarity and decided to knock his hat off and said, “GO BRAVES!” while giving the douchebag a tomahawk chop. I seriously can’t go anywhere without running into these Philly low-lifes.

Buddy bailed on me around the 3rd quarter, and that’s fine. He had other plans, and I’m not going to hate on a guy for doing what he wants to do. So, I met up with the friends from halftime, and we were hashing out a place to eat, and we agreed to meet on the Mileground. Two events that happened within seconds of each other happens…

I get a text from one of my friends I was supposed to meet with telling me that the traffic is awful and they’re just going to head back. Fine by me…

CRASH! A collision happens RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! Some jerk coming up a hill was going way too fast and just t-boned the passenger’s side of someone’s car. I decide at that point it’s time to turn around and head back to my apartment.

Didn’t do much that evening, just had some food delivered and decided to take in College Football– including some of LSU-UNC and Cincy-Fresno State. I passed out right before halftime of the Cincy game. I highly regret that one.

Next week will be an away game, so there will be no MMQB, but stay tuned, it’s Hate Marshall Week at HailWV.com!