Staff Preview: Marshall

So, I’ll be doing something a little different this year. Instead of me doing all the heavy-lifting, I’m going to get the staff more involved with gameday previews and everything.

Last year, as we all very well know, Marshall almost beat WVU… luckily, the Eers only needed 2 minutes to beat that school in Huntington, KY. Of course, last year, Doc Holliday was stealing the team’s signals because he knew the boring Stewart/Mullen offense inside and out.

This year is a different story, though. New coach, new offense, new attitude. It’s going to be exciting. Let’s hear what the staff at HailWV.com thinks of Game 1 on the WVU Schedule.

The Sports Dude

The anticipation surrounding the kickoff of this season’s version of the Mountaineer football program hasn’t been matched since Rich Rodriguez took over the reins from a retiring Don Nehlen. Dana Holgorsen and his explosive offensive wizardry should produce massive numbers this season. Many weapons are in place and Holgorsen’s pedigree and track record indicates WVU will become an offensive juggernaut rolling up impressive numbers in every statistical category. Gone are the perpetual bubble screens and “gentlemanly” late game gestures of the Stewart era.

When the whistle is blown for the opening kickoff, I expect to see a rabid crowd matched only by the Madison Square Garden crowd at Wrestlemania I when Hulk Hogan and Mr. T were egregiously handed the marquee match against Rowdy Roddy Piper and “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff after Cowboy Bob Orton mistakenly knocked out Orndorff in an ill timed jump from the ropes (Side note:  Besides everyone knows the match should have been awarded to Piper and the gang after “guest referee” Muhammad Ali punched Piper in the middle of the match! Yes, I’m still bitter.)

Matthew McConaughey is not walking through that door. Short of a miraculous Hollywood ending the Mountaineers should take Doc and his boys behind the woodshed for an old fashioned ass kicking at Mountaineer Field on September 4th.  Final score: WVU 49, Marshall 13.

Jeremy Stewart aka “Slangbus“-

Moo-U: Last year Marshall nearly pulled the upset because it took 3 quarters for Jeff F&*#ing Mullen to figure out that when a line is getting to your QB, you should call quick passes. MU Defensive End Vinnie Curry is a one dimensional pass-rusher, but he’s pretty good at that one dimension, and the pressure the Herd put on Geno last year against a poorly coached line was what kept them ahead for so long. As for this year? Well we have a new staff that will actually adjust in game. Novel concept, I know. That, along with MU’s simple overall lack of talent, the excitement for Dana Holgorsen, Coach Holgosen’s already stated willingness to do the Jimmy Johnson-like ”Run my offense regardless of the score” , and this one’s going to get ugly quick.

Score: 63-21

Jerry M aka The Deuce (the site’s hustler)

When Marshall takes to the field at MPS, their hopes and dreams rest on running back, Travon Van. He comes to Marshall via Florida (grades) and has been hyped as the next “great one”. You would think Van is a Heisman contender, All American, and #1 overall pick in this years NFL Draft.. with all that, he’s never taken a single college snap, and no offensive line to protect him. (but he’s good enough he doesn’t need a O-line)

Word is Marshall will have an all freshmen backfield with RB Van, and QB Rakeen Cato. Like Van, Cato is tabbed as the next Chad Pennington.. but it won’t happen on this day. The lone bright spot on defense will be DE Vinny Curry. As good as Curry is, one man can’t stop this air attack, and Marshall just isn’t ready to win the C-USA or win in Morgantown.

Marshall puts all their eggs in one basket every year, and thats to beat WVU. 10 times they have failed.. make that 11.

WVU 45 MU 13

Jim (Lead Editor)

This game will be the debut of many things: Dana Holgorsen’s offense, the new offensive coaching staff, and $9 beers at Mountaineer Field. I will be enjoying all 3.

Marshall truly is a joke. I mean, when you have their humanoids out there distributing these cards in department stores:

You know you’re a joke. And, Cheap Suit Chucky is probably leading the charge to get a cheap, green suit (if he doesn’t already own 2 or 3 of them.) What a bloody joke, I wouldn’t even let my dog use the bathroom on Marshall clothes.

Last year, Doc Holliday was stealing the signals that Bill Stewart was giving to the team… and, like Jeremy said, it took 3 quarters for that idiot Jeff Mullen to figure it, among other things. Luckily, WVU only needed 2 minutes to beat Marshall. In fact, let’s go to some videotape… (FFWD to the 8:30ish mark to get to the good stuff)

Also, if you noticed near the end of the video, the field goal posts were crooked. Some first-class facilities, huh?

Anyway, this year is a whole different story.

Bill Stewart was shown the door after he and his wife were (allegedly) involved in leaking information about Holgorsen to none other than Cheap Suit Chucky. Holgorsen gets a promotion after some awesome misbehavior at the dog track in Cross Lanes, and players now know who is firmly in charge.

Geno Smith could have a Heisman-like year, racking up yards and touchdowns under the new offense. Tavon Austin and Ivan McCartney could be the next big things. Bruce Irvin is going to have opposing quarterbacks scared to death.

This game is going to get ugly early on, folks. I mean, ugly as in “Marshall girl” ugly. Maybe this game will finally have the humanoids that are Marshall fans begging off next year’s contest, which will also be held in Morgantown… and will FINALLY send them back to Kentucky.

WVU- 55, MooU- 16

Average prediction score
WVU- 53, MooU- 16

Enjoy this parting shot, Moo-U fans…

Topics: Friends Of Joe And Coal Bowl, Friends Of Joe Bowl, Gameday Predictions, Gameday Preview, Give Huntington To Kentucky, Huntington Kentucky, It's Not A Real Rivalry, Marshall, Moo-U, WVU, WVU Football

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