FireChuckLandon.com- Virginia Tech/Marshall game connected to WVU?

When we last left Cheap Suit Chucky, it’s been a while since we last featured him on the site… apparently, he was on vacation somewhere and he was left walkin’ funny after his vacation.

This week, he has managed to find a way to tie together the Virginia Tech/Moo-U game with WVU because of one guy: Rich Rodriguez.

So, did he also discuss Oliver Luck? Join us for all the fun after the jump.

Chuck Landon: Virginia Tech game great, but with costs

As twin-edged swords go, this is no ginsu.
Oh boy, more puns… this time, with knives!

A samurai is more like it.
Oh, now we’re gettin’ oriental, Landon?

Or sling blade, right, Billy Bob?
From now on, let’s compare Landon to Slingblade.

The cutting edge of the twin blades is getting a Top 15 team such as 13th-ranked Virginia Tech to come to Huntington, W.Va., and play Marshall at Edwards Stadium.
Who in the hell would wanna go to that trash heap in Kentucky, anyway?

That will happen at 3:30 p.m. on Sept., 24.
Oh wait, Virginia Tech goes from one trash heap (Cracksburg, VA) to another (Huntington, KY)

And that is outstanding.
Only because people are forced to come to Huntington and drop $$$ in that drug-infested hole of a town.

My compliments to Marshall’s Mike Hamrick for refusing to be a money-grubbing athletic director. He easily could have sold the rights to this home game for a lucrative $1 million and moved the contest to Washington, D.C.
C’mon now, Chucky, put the bong down for a few minutes.

But Hamrick refused to sell Herd fans down the ol’ man river known as cash flow.
So, that means Marshall will still be dependent on ol Uncle Earl Ray and King Joe for $$$$.

Are you listening, WVU fans?

Hamrick’s counterpart, Mountaineer athletic director Oliver Luck, did just the opposite while selling WVU’s home game against James Madison in 2012 to — again — a group in Washington, D.C.
And here goes the “scribe in a cheap suit”, talking about his secret crush on Oliver Luck… he only wishes Hamrick was half the AD and businessman that Oliver Luck is.

That is the unmistakable difference between the state of West Virginia’s two marquee athletic directors. Marshall’s Hamrick is obviously fan-friendly. WVU’s Luck clearly is not.
Actually, Luck is rather fan-friendly… HE GOT RID OF BILL STEWART ONCE AND FOR ALL FROM WVU FOOTBALL!!! Now, if he’d just get rid of Greg Van Zant… *sighs*

Sorry about your Luck, Mountaineer fans.
More puns from the Mullet Man!

Yet, even the most accommodating athletic director doesn’t have total control over a home game. Particularly, if television networks get involved.
DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

So it is with the Marshall-Virginia Tech game.
A game which I will not be watching, might I add!

And that’s where this twin-edged sword cuts like Excalibur.
Gettin’ fancy now, Chuck?

The broadcast team assigned by the CBS Sports Network includes Dave Ryan doing play-by-play and — better sit down, MU and WVU fans alike — the one and only Rich Rodriguez as the color analyst.
Chucky’s pants are all of a sudden a little tight.

On the count of three, group ugh!
A collective grunt? Wow…

I’m not sure which baboon at CBS Sports thought this was a good idea, but I encourage everyone to send this Zippy several over-ripened bunches of Chiquitas. It’s my understanding that TV chimps love bananas.

Or, wait, was he referring to this CBS Zippy?

Which is precisely what fans are sure to go over this news.
Wait, so now, they’ll have more questions than they did when they first started on this article?

Let me see a show of hands.
I’ve got one hand for ya, Landon… well, one finger:

Who thinks it is a good idea to have the former WVU head football coach who annually PMS’d about the Joe Manchin-mandated Marshall-WVU series, consistently demeaned Marshall, sent a spy to Huntington to take notes on an MU spring practice and jilted the Mountaineers for a bluer & golder pasture in Michigan, to return to West Virginia in any working capacity?
Probably this guy.

That’s what I thought.
Nope, Chuck, you definitely didn’t have Sean McManus on your list. You probably had Les Moonves or Barack Obama.

Everyone is jingling their pocket change.
Um, Chuck… I doubt their hands are in their pockets jingling loose change for your next cheap suit purchase. They’re actually, well, never mind. We’re supposed to be “professional” here.

/sarcasm 

The only question is which fan-base dislikes this more — Marshall or WVU?
Actually, we could careless about that game. Will we be watching? Probably not… we’ll probably be gettin ready for the LSU-WVU game.

My guess is WVU.
Wrong answer, Landon!

But, make no mistake, Marshall fans and officials aren’t happy with this surprising turn of commentating events, either.

“I didn’t have any say in it,” said Hamrick. “I didn’t even know anything about it until I read it in the media.”
So much for being a fan-friendly AD, huh?

Conference USA officials were aware of the CBS Sports Network assignments, but also weren’t asked for an opinion.

“We really don’t have much input,” said Russ Anderson, C-USA’s assistant commissioner for football. “There are two broadcast teams that will be doing our games this year.

“Dave Ryan and Rich Rodriguez are the primary team.”

That means Marshall fans might have to endure Rodriguez again during the 2011 season. CBS Sports Network is also scheduled to televise the Herd’s final game of the regular season against East Carolina on Nov. 26 at Edwards Stadium.

“That certainly is a possibility,” said Anderson.

Oh, geez, a turkey broadcasting a game here on Thanksgiving weekend.
Gobble, gobble, asshole!

That really carves deep.
No, Landon, what’s going to carve deep is that seizure you’re going to get as you watch the Mountaineers run up the score on your precious Herd on September 4th!