Fun with Yucky Chucky: Capital Classic Edition

When we last left Yucky Chucky, well, who cares!? This time, he’s running his mouth about the Capital Classic. What will he make bad jokes about?! Will he make a mockery of our currency? Will he trash Oliver Luck? Will he hate WVU? Read on!

Usually, Tom Herrion is a “no quarter asked or given” kind of guy.
And the bad quarter jokes begin… we don’t even get a warmup from Chucky!

But bit by bit — after all, two bits is a quarter — that changes for Marshall’s first-year head basketball coach when the opponent is West Virginia University.
WVU- NOT Chuck Landon’s beat. Don’t let him fool you into thinking it is, either!

Oh, Herrion still doesn’t cut any slack.
Stop…

That never changes.
…typing…

Nor does he expect any.
…sentence…

That never changes, either.
…FRAGMENTS, YOU ASSHOLE! This just proves how inept Landon is when he can’t construct a paragraph, instead he has to put out sentence fragments to waste space on the toilet paper the Herald-Dispatch is printed on.

But the “quarter” takes on a whole different meaning when WVU is involved. Then, it becomes “quarter” as in, 25-cent piece.
Wow, is this a finance column, or a sports column? All I’ve been reading about is quarters.

That’s how it has been since the fateful night of Feb. 3, 2010. That’s when a Mountaineer fan hurled a quarter toward Pitt’s bench that struck Herrion — then, a Panthers assistant coach — just below his left eye.
We still don’t know it was a Mountaineer fan, Chucky… it came FROM THE SECTION WHERE THE sPITT FANS WERE!!!

The quarter left a visible bruise on Herrion’s face and a permanent blemish on the reputation of WVU fans. I know because I watched a replay of the incident on the Internet while writing this column.
Hahaha… I bet you did, Chuck.

Other things Chuck Landon probably watched on the internet
*Ricky Astley’s “Never Gunna Give You Up”
*The recent Coal Bowl, which was conveniently cut off before Geno Smith’s drive(s).
*This last one is unverified, but, probably some donkey porn.

Yes, the video is still out there in cyberland.
Just like the first video I mentioned.

And that’s the point.
More sentence fragments! Doesn’t MS Word usually catch this sort of thing?

As much as both Herrion and WVU would like to put that inexcusable incident behind them, it isn’t going anywhere. Especially now that Herrion is Marshall’s coach.
Only because jerkoffs like you bring it up to sell toilet paper rolls!

That segues into Marshall’s annual game against WVU in the Capital Classic at 8 p.m., Wednesday, in the Charleston Civic Center.
Thanks for finally getting to the point of your article, Chucky… HALFWAY THROUGH!!!

Quarter for your thoughts, Tom?
Wow, even more “quarter jokes.” Just put the crack away, Chucky.

“What can you get for a quarter nowadays?” replied Herrion with a grin. “Not much. I didn’t get much for that one, either. I actually left it there on the floor in Morgantown. I don’t have the original one.”
No, somebody got it… if that quarter was still there, I WOULD HAVE PICKED IT UP BY NOW!

Herrion posed an interesting question. Just what can we buy for 25 cents?
30 minutes of parking in downtown Morgantown.

Well, one Dairy Queen “Blizzard” can be purchased at full price and another for a quarter with a coupon. Circuit City stock is going for 25 cents a share. And, of course, there’s notoriety.
Where can you buy “notoriety” at, Chucky? After all, you seem to be the expert!

Herrion bought a whole, big bunch of that with one particular quarter.
WHERE AT, CHUCKY!? Inquiring minds want to know.

Yet, Herrion won’t be carrying a “lucky” quarter in his pocket during tonight’s game.
No, turns out it’s a lucky turd chip from the Oakland Zoo that says, “Emergency Rations” on the wrapper.

“Nah,” he said.

That’s interesting since Herrion was indeed carrying a lucky quarter from Morgantown during the press conference that introduced him as Marshall’s new coach on April 10, 2010.
He must have had his emergency ration, already.

“That was the one from the night before in Morgantown at The Applebee’s on my way down here,” explained Herrion.
So, he DID have a lucky quarter… DID IT GO TOWARDS A LUCKY BLIZZARD W/COUPON, Chucky!?

As the anecdote goes, a WVU fan recognized Herrion in the restaurant and gave him a symbolic quarter to prove that not all Mountaineer fans are jerks.
Yet, Chucky thinks differently.

So, Herrion carried the quarter in his pocket during the press conference.
*sighs* This column is beginning to make even less cents (HAHA, get it) than it did from the beginning.

“At that time,” he said, “people equated me more as the guy who got hit with the quarter than the new Marshall basketball coach. Hopefully, we’ve changed that a little bit.”
Well, most people have… except for Chuck Landon.

He has.
There’s those damn sentence fragments again.

Despite the recent uneven performances in a commanding win over Southern Miss and a dismal defeat to Memphis, Herrion has established Marshall as a Conference USA contender.
Kinda easy to say that since Calipari left Memphis in shambles.

But the quarters? Well, they still have made a habit of defining Herrion for the past year.
At this point, I feel bad for the dimes, nickels and pennies.

“It’s ironic,” he said. “It’s neat.”
Donald Trump is defined by money… so WHY NOT A MARSHALL MAN!?

What makes it even more “neat” is there are no quarters in the world of college basketball.
Yeah, they’re called “halves.”

Only in Herrion’s corner of it.
Give it a rest, Chucky!

Yet, the irony persists. This annual, in-state rivalry game between Marshall and WVU is being played nearly one year — 16 days, to be exact — after the notorious “quarter” game.
Wow, way to count the days, Chuck…

So, if irony has its way, perhaps, a victorious Herrion will get to celebrate with a post-game beer.
Yeah, right…

I suggest a game of quarter bounce.
Herrion, your new nickname is “Quarters” because I read about that 25cent experience in Chuck Landon’s Herald-Dispatch column… and flushed down the can afterwards!